I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
