his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
