Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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