he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
