is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
