Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
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