Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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