addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
