About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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