those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
there was a trapeze. enough said
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
