I must be too annoying 4 u.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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