How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
