I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
