the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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