worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
