And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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