i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize