every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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