i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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