Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
You took a bar mat shot.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize