girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize