are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
