Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
