Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Send help, water and tortillas.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
