"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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