in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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