We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
