OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I just found puke in my bra..
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
