I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize