WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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