A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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