In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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