Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
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