I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
