your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
