And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
