Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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