Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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