May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
