Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
We need to get me chipped asap
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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