Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
My cat gives me a boner
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
