So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
she woke up with a sticky ear
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
