It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
