I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
