I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
