I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
