my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
