matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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