lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
