it was like his penis was on wheels.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
