its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
