do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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