At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Sext me about skeletons
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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