I accidentally had phone sex last night
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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