We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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