Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
