either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
