Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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