Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
How does it feel to date your dad?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
