She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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