why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize