I heard we made out
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
