Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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