absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
