Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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