what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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