I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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