Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
