just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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