Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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