OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
