and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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