Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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