Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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