Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
