we have pet lesbian snakes
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
