so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
