What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
