She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
