i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Just pee around me
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
